Three's a Crowd
by Sephielya J. Maxwell
Summary: A challenge parody fic. Completely on crack, just a bit of humor that you might have had to of seen the whole series to get, just to warn you! Probably more to come, and a serious fic when I am done screwing around!


Disclaimer: I don't own Gankutsuou, and this story is why. . .

Warning: May contain spoilers, and cause insanity. Random appearances, OOCness, and general ignoring the plot will occur. I WAS NOT TRYING TO WRITE A SERIOUS FIC HERE! Just so you know. . . And comedy isn't my style, so blame my over-imaginative friends Neheon and Tanja.

To open, let me tell you that our Count, Albert, and Franz are all living together happily (really?) at Champs-Elysies. Don't ask, cause I'm not telling how that works out, so deal with it.

"Who did this!" Albert shouted, his voice echoing off the walls of the empty hallway. Franz, alerted by his dear-heart's voice, rushed to his aid only to stand just as confused as he beheld the odd sight in the dark. All along the walls and the ceiling were odd designs, glowing with a neon light as if blacklight were present. A third party member, a guest in the household, entered the hall with a wide smile on his face. His long blond hair tumbled down over his shoulders carelessly, his black pants barely hanging onto his hips, and his shirt open to bare even more flesh that took on a strange hue because of the light. The Count himself entered the hallway then, looking around in surprise. He'd heard the commotion and so he'd went to investigate though it was not yet morning. He placed his hand on his forehead, leaning over slightly.

"Count, are you alright?" Albert cried, rushing forward.

"Probably tired, I heard noise from his room when I left last night." The villainous blue-eyed man with the razor-blade smile commented.

"You did this, Andrea?" Albert asked him, frowning.

"That's right, he must of! He's really Benedetto, isn't he? The one that steals and kills and everything." Franz said, nodding his head, but the half-dressed man shook his head. The Count peeked through his fingers as the glowing eyes appeared on his forehead, unable to resist coming forth to see the outcome of his mischief. He smiled wide, his appearance shifting to that of the glowing face with the fanged smile.

"I couldn't have," Benedetto was saying, and for now he held everyone's attention. "I spent last night consoling my poor mother." His smile was innocent, though his eyes were not, and everyone paled. Gankutsuou's smile abruptly turned upside down. Just then Albert happened to glance behind him to the Count, and he saw Gankutsuou's face. Startled, he jumped back.

"It was you!" He gasped as Franz threw up his hands.

"Of course," He said, "Sound shocked, but it's always him."

"It's alright Edmond, I'll bring you back!" The brunette explained, standing up on tip-toes and wrapping his arms around the Count's neck to place a kiss on his lips. The neon face was gone in an instant, and Edmond smiled at Albert—a little too happily for Franz's taste.

"I want a Gankutsuou." He said dejectedly, crossing his arms.

"Why would you say something like that, Franz? Gankutsuou is a terrible spirit that takes over your body and heart, twisting it and corrupting it!"

"Yeah, but whenever the Count goes all 'Gankutsuou' you kiss him to bring him back to Edmond." His friend reasoned. Albert blushed, smiling shyly as he walked over to Franz.

"Well… If that's what it takes to keep you from saying things like that, then all you have to do is ask, Franz." He said quietly, leaning close to his friend. Just before soft silk lips brushed they were pulled apart. The Count stood between the two, his arm around Albert's waist and Franz's neck.

"Why don't we go to an Opera today?" He said innocently.

"Hey! What are you trying to do, kill me?" Franz shouted, struggling against the cold grip. Warm brown eyes met the mismatched red and gold eyes of the Count, and both of them stared at one another as if sensing some dark and forgotten past for a silent moment. Franz pulled Albert's sword from the other's waist just in time to block Edmond's cane from crashing into his skull. The two shoved the smaller brunette aside as they began to duel, the sword Franz held glowing green, while the heart of the Count's staff gave off the same eerie light.

"No, please don't fight!" The naive one pleaded, rushing back between them with hands outstretched. "We can all get along now, can't we? Come on, there's no reason for this. You know you both mean more to me than anyone, and I would die if one of you were to get hurt!" Moved by the object of their affections' words, the two put away their weapons and came together with Albert between them.

"He's right," Franz said softly, "We can get along, can't we Count?"

"Oh yes, we can get along. After all, we have one thing in common. . ." The Count said in his low and seductive voice, smiling so that his fangs peeked out from his pale blue lips. Albert shuddered as the two led him towards the bedroom. Benedetto sighed as he turned to head down the hallway, stopping when he noticed a pair of prying eyes. Smiling his dangerous smile he cocked his hip to the side and raised his hand in a beckoning wave.

"There you are." He said. The brunette in the dress giggled, slipping out from behind the crevice and swaying over to the taller man. "Come on, Peppo. . .We can't let them have all the fun." And so they, too, found a room.

Later that morning, just as the sun peeked in through the windows, Albert smiled as he lay nestled between his two favorite people. The other bed's occupants woke slowly, and the brunette said softly,

"You know. . .When we're like this, it's warm, isn't it?"


End file.
